Trouble In Paradise
by m00nbrain
Summary: 5 chapters about how love is never easy. JohnTeyla. Chapter 2 done.
1. Jealousy

The first few times it was an easy thing to dismiss but John's amorous introductions with off world females had become no less frequent even after they had decided that all they wanted was each other. She understood the need for secrecy, the military regulations clearly stated that there was to be no relationship between team members, and her own people generally frowned upon formally uncommitted unions. She knew she should be content with what she had but with John carrying on like he had never asked her to be his made her wonder if he had regretted doing so.

Teyla didn't know how to bring it up when they had their meager time alone since she was too preoccupied with making the best of that time.

He would touch her, ask her questions and reveal aspects of his own life that not many knew. His kisses left her breathless and aching while his mere presence made her feel protected, which made his attention to other women that much harder to endure. Her father would scold her for her natural pride. There was no denying the feelings associated with being someone's most trusted and chosen companion.

She found herself responding less and less to his eager boyish smiles when they discovered new allies and Ancient technology, and it stung that he never seemed to notice.

John had never paid her much public appreciation, aside from off handed comments or a simple look of thanks, and doing so now would definitely raise eyebrows. Yet, sometimes she couldn't help wanting more. Teyla had grown used to wanting things and letting them go. She wondered how much longer she would be willing to hang onto to something that she could never claim as entirely her own.


	2. First Fight

"You cannot save everyone, John. No matter how hard you try some people do not want to be saved." Teyla told him hotly, throwing daggers at him with her eyes.

"You think that makes my job any easier?" He shot back, grinding his teeth in an attempt to remain calm. She tightened her lips, unwilling to continue arguing over another disastrous expedition.

"You can't always be the strong one either." He reasoned, grabbing her arm to prevent her from walking away.

"There isa difference between strength and recklessness." She told him sagely.Beneath his touch she seemed calm but he could tell the contact was unwelcome. It stung more than he could say.

"I did what I thought I had to do. I couldn't just walk away." He said defensively. Arguing with Teyla was not what he had originally had in mind when they got back Yet he knew this argument had been long in coming. He had noticed how cold Teyla had become towards him. He wasn't sure if she was purposely avoiding time alone with him or if it was accidental.

"They did not want our help." She reasoned, irritated by his tunnel vision.

"I wasn't willing to give up." He hoped she knew what he was trying to say. "Let's not do this now." He added tiredly when it was clear she either missed the message or did not care.

"Fine." She muttered, shaking off his hand. John sighed and looked away not wanting to watch her leave. He had surprised himself by thinking this would be easy.


	3. Break Up

"You should have told me." The icy timbre of John's voice stopped her instantly. She knew he would find out eventually and when he did it wasn't going to be pleasant. She straightened her spine as she took a deep breath but couldn't find the courage to turn and face him.

"It's done." The harsh words grated on her own ears.

"Say it to my face, Teyla. Tell me you requested to be put on another team." This emotionless tone he had was new to her, she had never heard him without a hint of feeling in his voice. She struggled with the thought that it was her fault he sounded so hard.

"I did." She said her eyes found his. She saw his hurt, anger and desperation as she returned the look.

"Tell me you're walking away." Now there was a little disbelief in voice. She didn't want to believe this was happening either.

"John, don't." He had to look away when he heard her use his real name. It use to mean everything to him but right now, in this moment, it was just an empty word.

"Tell me." He barked. She flinched at the tone she was use to hearing when he gave orders but her steady gaze never wavered as she answered him.

"I am." She almost choked on the words as they came out dry and strained.

"Tell me why." Nothing in his voice changed but she knew he was offering her another choice.

"I can't." It had slipped from her lips unexpectedly but they both she could never tell him, she didn't know how.

In the end he had walked away and she had let him.


End file.
